The Prince of Cork

Cromwell's army were sweeping across Erin's Isle, crushing all before them. But they suddenly came to a grinding halt outside Cork city.

'What's the problem?' demanded Cromwell.

'It's Big Mick the Prince of Cork, he's over the hill in a cave and we can't winkle him out!' Just then Big Mick's voice bellowed: 'Oliver. Send in your toughest man to face me!' So in was sent a sergeant who stood 6 foot 8 inches and weighed 2001bs, armed to the teeth with sword, knife and pistols.

Ten seconds later a great cry of anguish was heard, followed by Big Mick shouting:

'He's a pussy cat, Oliver - send in your five next toughest men!'

In rode five armour-clad Ironsides, lances, swords and guns. A terrible screaming and wailing followed and again they heard Big Mick:

'Come on, Ollie me boy - send in twenty of your toughest!'

Off rode the twenty, preceded by a salvo of cannon and a volley of musket fire. Again, a great screaming was heard followed by the sight of one Roundhead, bleeding head to foot. He crawled towards Cromwell gasping:

'Sire, don't send in any more men. It's a trap - there's two of them!'