Stuck in the mud

It was no man's land in the Battle of the Somme, and a small British raiding party had left their trenches to scout the terrain. There in the mud they spotted a head, with steel helmet on, sticking out of the mud.

'Hello there,' called the lieutenant. 'Who are you?'

'I'm Corporal McGinty, sir,' came the shrill Irish voice. 'I'm a member of the 17th cavalry regiment, and I've got myself stuck in this mud and I'm sinking fast!'

'Don't worry, lad,' called the officer. 'We'll soon get you free.'

With that the soldiers looped a rope around themselves, fastened it to a tree and crawled out to lever McGinty from the mud. Muscles bulging, eyes popping, they pulled his head, his neck, his ears, anything they could grab. They heaved till his shoulders started to come free, but by now they were almost exhausted.

'Lieutenant, sir,' said McGinty, 'do you think it would help if I took me feet out of the stirrups?'