Break it to him gently

The captain called Sergeant O'Malley to his office.

'I've news about Private Morrison,' he said. 'Apparently his father has passed away. Now you know how easily he can be upset, so break the news gently, sarge.'

Out strode O'Malley and called the squad together.

'Attention!' he bawled. 'Morrison - your father's dead!'

Morrison collapsed in a heap at the news and had to be hospitalised for a fortnight.

Sometime shortly after, it came through that Morrison's mother had passed away of grief.

'Let's be careful this time, Sergeant. Try to tell him in a more subtle way.'

'Right, sir,' said O'Malley and marched out to the parade ground.

'Squad attention!' he roared.

'All those with mothers one pace forward - not you, Morrison!'