The Dummy

A ventriloquist on a UK tour was going down great guns in the Grand Opera House in Belfast with a string of jokes about the Welsh, the Scots, the English and the Americans.
'Now,' he said, 'to finish off, I'm sure you won't mind if I tell a joke about the people here.'
At this point a rather large gentleman got up in the front circle and said: 'We'll have none of that. We are not as stupid here as people think we are.'
'Don't worry, sir,' said the ventriloquist, 'I can assure you that the joke will not be in the least offensive.'
'I'm not talking to you,' said the heckler, 'I'm talking to that wee fella on your knee.'