No Idea Of Rituals

An English atheist came to Strabane for his holidays, met Attracta, fell in love with her and got married. The first Sunday after the wedding Attracta dragged him out of bed and off to their first Mass together.
Naturally, he didn't have a clue about all the rituals involved, and Attracta had to constantly whisper: 'Stand up, sit down, kneel, stand up again, kneel...'
Sweating from all the activity, he took out his handkerchief and wiped his brow, then laid it on his lap to dry. Attracta noticed this and she leaned over.
'Is your fly open?' she said.
'No,' he said. 'Should it be?'