Gorilla Affair

Cedric and Cecil from Bangor were camping in the forest. One day Cedric went to get water and didn't come back.
Three weeks later he staggered into the campsite in an awful state - clothes ripped off, thin as a rake.
'My God! said Cecil, 'whatever happened?'
'Oh, it was awful,' said Cedric. I was on my way to get water when this enormous gorilla leapt out and had his way with me. I was so disorientated that I've been wandering around since then trying to find my way back here.'
'Are you hurt?' asked Cecil.
'Hurt?' sobbed Cedric. 'Of course I'm hurt! It's been three weeks, and he hasn't phoned, he hasn't written. . .'