Eat Your Own Wake

Old Sammy was lying on his deathbed in Ballymena. Maisie came in and knelt gently beside the bed.
'Sammy, she asked, 'Do you have any last wishes?'
'Och, Maisie, that's very kind, said Sammy. 'You know, I was thinking that I wouldn't mind a piece of thon boiled ham on the table.'
'Now, Sammy! said Maisie, 'you know very well that ham's for the funeral.'