Drank the christmas money

It was Christmas and the mood was festive. All the world put on a happy face and joy was the norm. Well, at least for most people. Not, unfortunately, for Brendan Quinn, a man of heavy heart, and no wonder. In the scramble to enjoy every minute of holiday, he'd hit the pub at 100 mph and before knowing it, had bought the world and his wife a drink. Suddenly he realised that, Noel or not, he was skint. What made it worse was that he'd not bought the turkey and ham for the Christmas dinner. What to do? How to explain it all to darling Betty? Think quick, Quinn, think quick or die.

As if the almighty were guiding his steps, Brendan found himself outside Daley's butcher's shop and there was Daley's dog. Bing! An idea formed in Brendan's brain and quick as you like he snatched up the dog and raced off to his garden shed. Grabbing his bicycle pump, he shoved the lead into the dog's mouth, gripped its jaws tight and began pumping air. Gradually little by little the dog began to swell. When it was about half as big again as normal he carried it back to Daley the butcher.

'Is this your dog?' he demanded.

'It is,' said Daley. 'But it looks bigger.'

'It certainly is bigger,' snorted Quinn. 'Because it's eaten our Christmas turkey and ham!'

'Many apologies,' spluttered Daley. 'Please let me make it up to you. Help yourself to turkey, ham, sausages and whatever else you want.'

Off skipped Quinn a man literally over the moon with satisfaction, to thoroughly enjoy the festive season.

It was New Year's Eve when he saw Daley again. As he passed the butcher's he noticed the front window smashed and Daley boarding it up.

'What happened?' asked Quinn. 'Burglars? Vandals?'

'No,' answered Daley. 'The strangest thing. I had just repaired a puncture on my bicycle and I got the pump to inflate the tyre. The dog took one look at the pump and dived straight through the window!'