World cruise

Murphy couldn't resist the offer in his local paper. 'World cruise-£200 all in.'

Full of beans, he paid his fare and boarded the liner. On deck he showed his ticket and was immediately chained to an oar, along with hundreds of others. Suddenly a huge black man appeared and began banging a drum. At the same time six sturdy sailors walked amongst the oars beating people with bullwhips until they pulled their weight.

'This is a disgrace,' said Murphy, wincing with pain and exertion.

'This is the twentieth century, and slavery has been abolished. When I get home I'll complain to the United Nations. I can't believe it. And what about that fellow on the big drum?'

'Well,' said Rafferty, 'he's not as good as the bloke we had last year!'