One Liners

DOCTOR 'Well, Mrs O'Sullivan, you'll be glad to hear your husband has taken a turn of the better. He'll be up and about soon.'
KERRY WOMAN: 'Good God! What am I going to do? I just sold his clothes to a tinker to pay for the funeral.'

Traffic jam. AKerryman blows his horn like mad. A young lady leans out of the car beside him and asks him sympathetically: What else did you get for Christmas?'

A visitor to Kerry asked a young Kerry girl: Tell me, where can I find your father
'In the pigsty,' replies the lass, "you'll know him by his brown hat!'

Did you hear about the 'Kerry woman of the year?
She was so fat that she used a paint roller to put on her make up.

Then there was the Kerry girl who kept seeing spots before her eyes.
The doctor told her to stop going out with freckled men.

Did you hear about the Kerry woman who thought that Et Cum Spirit 2 0 was the Pope's telephone number.

DUBLINMAN: 'What would you be if you were not from Kerry?'
KERRY WOMAN: 'I'd be ashamed.'

A Kerry bridegroom found his new wife crying in the kitchen.
BRIDEGROOM: 'What's the matter, darling?'
BRIDE: 'I rinsed the ice-cubes in the hot water and now I can't find them.'

What did the Kerry girl say when she saw the gorilla in the Zoo?
'Hallo, Dad!'

A Kerry girl applied for a Job as life guard in Ballybunion.
Would you know how to save a Corkman from drowning?' asked the interviewer.
'I wouldn't,' answered the girl.
"Well done. The job is yours.'