One Liners

(This joke is for honours students - if you want a clue, think of what happens to the Kerryman's cap).
What do you call a Kerryman with his ears stuffed with cotton wool?
Anything you like he can't hear you!

A Kerryman was challenged to fight a duel, so he accepted under certain conditions.
'What are the conditions?' asked his opponent.
Well', said the Kerryman, 'can I stand a yard nearer to you, than you are to me, since I've lost the sight of one eye entirely?'

Have you heard about the two Kerrymen who were caught stealing a calendar?
They got six months each.

Have you heard about the Kerryman who drove his car into a lake?
He was trying to dip the headlights.

Have you heard about the Kerryman who became a tap-dancer?
He got washed down the sink.

Here is a sad little story about a Kerrywoman who tried to wash the floor.
She broke her washing machine.

A Kerryman got a pair of cuff-links for Christmas.
He went out and had his wrists pierced.

A Kerryman who became a barrister once stated in court: 'Your honour, the offence was committed at a quarter past twelve at night on the morning of the next day'.

What is the best time to sell land to a Kerryman?
When the tide is out ! ,

What do you call a Kerryman going to Cork with a wheelbarrow?
A thrill-seeker.