One Liners

Two Kerrymen bought new Volkswagons and went for a drive. The first Kerryman's Volkswagon broke down so the second stopped to investigate.
'I've looked under the bonnet', said the first Kerryman 'and there seems to be no engine'.
'Don't worry', said the second Kerryman, 'I've got a spare engine in my boot'.

This fellow was given an £18 note so he tried to change it in several banks but was quickly thrown out. Finally he tried a bank owned by a Kerryman. 'Certainly I'll change it', said the Kerryman. 'How would you like it, two nines or three sixes?'

A Kerryman claimed he had a rope with only one end because he had cut the other end off.

A Kerryman complained to his landlady that his blanket was still too short, despite the fact that he had cut several strips off the top and sewn them onto the bottom.

Two Kerrymen were having an afternoon nap on a building site.
These pipes make terribly hard pillows', said one.
'Why don't you do as I've done?' said the second, 'I've stuffed mine with straw'.

What happened to the Kerryman who tried to blow up a bus?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

What does a Kerryman call his pet zebra?
Spot.

During the war a Kerryman joined the Air Force and was detailed to disperse 100,000 propaganda leaflets all over Germany. He returned to base over six months later, in an exhausted condition.
"Where on earth have you been?' asked his commander, 'surely it doesn't take six months to drop a few leaflets'. 'Drop them?' said the Kerryman, 'I thought you wanted me to put them under all the doors'.

'I'm glad I don't like cabbage', said a Kerryman, 'because if I liked it I'd eat lots of it, and I can't stand the sight of the stuff.

'You have been found not guilty of robbery', said the judge to a Kerryman.
'Does that mean I can keep the money?' asked the Kerryman.