The operation

Rafferty had been told to attend hospital for a minor operation, but he was afraid. So when the fateful morning arrived, he lay in bed determined not to go.

'Ring the hospital,' he said to his wife, 'and tell them I'm sick.'

'You get to hospital,' she answered. 'There's nothing wrong with you!'

So Rafferty arrived at hospital and was bathed, changed and safely tucked up in bed.

'Now,' said the nurse, 'you're to stay there and not get up. So let me know if you want a bed pan.'

'A bed pan?' roared Rafferty. 'Don't tell me we've got to do our own cooking!'