Aren't you surprised?

Joe O'Reilly very seldom had the last word when it came to arguing with the wife. But tonight was different. Tonight he couldn't lose for winning. Tonight he'd come home early and made his way up to the bedroom. There lay his good lady Kate, arrayed in the slinkiest nightie he'd ever seen.

'Hello me darling,' said she. 'And haven't I dressed up to surprise ye?'

O'Reilly said nothing but went into the bathroom, returning with a straight razor which he proceeded to sharpen on a strop.

Anxiously Katy asked, 'What are you doing Joseph with that fearsome razor?'

'Well,' said Joe with a sneer, 'there's a pair of boots under your bed. Now, if they've got no feet in them, I'm going to have a shave!'