One liners

The Irishman had been found guilty of murder and sentenced to the electric chair.

'Have you any last request?' asked the prison warden.

'Yes,' replied the prisoner. 'Would you hold my hand when I go?'

'Who's down the hold of the ship?' called the Irish foreman.

Tom McAneamy,' replied the Liverpool docker. 'Well, one of you three come up here and give me a hand!'

Sign in a London pub: 'Happy hour - all you can drink for £1.'

Murphy went up to the bar and said Till have two quids' worth please.'