On Mastermind

Kate McCann had decided that in order to raise a few extra pounds, or win a holiday perhaps, her husband Pat would enter a TV game show. Unfortunately, Pat's looks and personality did not lend themselves to the normal jolly type quizzes where knowledge is secondary to fun. So what to do?

'Well,' thought Kate, 'if they say he looks too serious, then let him enter a serious quiz show. And what's more serious than Mastermind?'

So McCann duly applied and was accepted for the highbrow show. But what to answer questions on? General knowledge? - not allowed. Drinks and drinking? - definitely not allowed.

'Pick something Irish,' prompted Kate. 'They won't know a lot of questions about that.'

So Pat decided on the Easter Rising of 1916. (They wouldn't know details from that far back!)

Came the fateful night and Magnus Magnusson called McCann to the chair.

'Your chosen subject?' he asked.

'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' replied Pat.

Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'

'Pass.'

'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'

'Pass.'

'How many men were involved in the Easter Rising of 1916?'

'Pass.'

Suddenly an Irish voice boomed from the studio audience:

'That's right, Pat - tell them nothing!'