I'm in a fix

'I'm in a terrible fix,' moaned Fred. 'I'm in love with two girls and I don't know which to marry.'

'No problem,' said Murphy to the Englishman. 'I know you're not a Catholic but I think the church could help you. Call in tomorrow morning, kneel down and try a sincere prayer to God - that should do the trick.'

Next morning Murphy arrived to find Fred with a beaming smile.

'It worked. It's a miracle,' he enthused. 'I walked in,

knelt down and there it was written in red across the altar cloth: AVE MARIA!'