Farmer's Joke

The old favourite farmer's joke tells of the farmer's daughter who was engaged to be married to a bright and polished young solicitor. When she first brought her fiance" to visit the home her father engaged in conversation with the young man about his success with his crops.
'I have rhubarb sticks like hurleys,' he said.
'And how do you get them to grow so big,' asked the young man.
'Oh, loads of manure,' answered the farmer. 'And my turnips are as big as footballs.'
'And to what do you attribute your success with turnips?' asked the young solicitor.
'Oh loads of manure,' said the farmer again.
'Loads of manure,' was the secret of the success of the farmer's cabbage, parsnips and every other crop that he spoke to the young man about. When the evening was over an embarrassed daughter called her mother to the kitchen and, almost in tears, begged her to get her father to use the word 'fertiliser' when in polite company. Her mother's answer was: 'If you only knew how long it took me to get him to say "manure".'