One Liners

A Guard in a country village was astonished to see a fellow walking along the road with a huge TO DUBLIN roadsign under his arm, so he asked him to explain what he was doing. 'I'm a Corkman walking to Dublin', said the fellow 'and I don't want to lose my way'

A Corkman who lived in a remote mountain village was awoken one morning by the postman delivering a letter 'You shouldn't have come all that way just to bring me one letter', said the Corkman, 'why didn't you post it?'

A Corkman got a job as assistant in a hotel kitchen and was given the task of filling all the salt cellars. After a few hours he was asked if he had finished but replied that he had only managed to fill one.
'It's the devil's own job putting the salt in through that little hole at the top', he added.

Have you heard about the Corkman whose canary lost it's sight in an accident?
He took it to the Bird's Eye factory.

A Cork detective had just taken a much wanted criminal into custody when his cap blew off. 'Do you want me to go and get it for you?' asked the prisoner obligingly. 'You must think I'm a right fool', said the Corkman, 'you stand here while I go and get it'.

A Corkman was paying his annual visit to the dentist. 'Your teeth are fine', the dentist told him, 'but your gums will have to come out'.

Have you heard about the Corkman who thought Yoko Ono was Japanese for one egg?

Have you heard about the Corkman who spent two hours buying a cap in a department store?
He was looking for one with a peak at the back.

A Corkman once set out to swim the Channel. However, when he was about three-quarters of the way across he felt he wouldn't make it, so he turned round and swam home.

How many Corkmen does it take to carry out a kidnapping?
Ten - one to capture the kid and nine to write the ransom note.