One Liners

Have you heard about the Corkman who thought that aperatif was the French for a set of dentures?

What do you call a brick on a Corkman's head
An extension.

A Corkman's wife gave birth to a baby weighing only one pound and four ounces. The doctors were amazed because the baby was perfectly healthy and thriving. 'It's not surprising really', explained the Corkman, 'we've only been married for three weeks'.

A Corkman was driving to Kerry for his holidays when he was stopped by a Guard late one evening.
'Excuse me sir', said the Guard, YOU don't seem to have any rear lights'.
'Never mind about my rear lights', said the Corkman, 'where's my caravan?'

What's the most popular dish on the menu in a restaurant owned by a Corkman?
Soup in the basket.

Two Corkmen were discussing their childhood. 'When I was born', said the first Corkman, 'I weighed only four pounds'.
"That's astonishing', said the second Corkman, 'tell me, did you live?'
'Live?' said the first Corkman, 'you should see me now'.

Have you heard about the Irish speaking Corkman who had a relapse of measles?
It was a case of a rash arfs.

A Corkman's explanation of why the sea is so salty - it's all those herrings swimming around.

Have you heard about the Cork psychiatrist who used to put his wife under the bed?
He thought she was just a little potty.

A Cork lawyer whose client was charged with murdering his father and mother by knocking their heads off with an axe opened his defence as follows- -
'Gentlemen of the jury, consider this poor orphan ..."