One Liners

What does a Corkman take for a headache?
Nothing - because nothing acts faster than Anadin.

One Corkwoman was sympathising with another on the death of her husband. 'I believe he met his death by falling from a high building', she said.
'Yes', was the reply, 'he fell from the seventh storey'. 'Was it as bad as that?' asked the other Corkwoman, 'I heard it was only the fourth storey'.

Have you heard about the Corkman who arrived up at the telephone exchange with his black telephone and asked if he could have a blue one instead?

A Corkman was asked to suggest names for his sister's newly born twins, one a boy and other a girl. He came up with Denise and Denephew.

Have you heard about the Cork builder who fell into a lot of money?
He bought a JCB GXL.

A Cork carpenter fell sixty feet from the top of a building on which he was working. As they picked him up he told them philosophically. 'I had to come down for nails anyway'.

Have you heard about the Corkman who bought a pool table? He filled it with water.

Have you heard about the Corkman whose horse broke a leg?
He went home and covered it with treacle.

Have you heard about the Corkman who lost £10 on the Grand National?
Worse still, he lost £15 on the television rerun.

A Corkman started a new Dial-a-Weather-Forecast service. He advertised as follows
Dial 12718 for a sunny forecast
Dial 12940 for a rainy forecast