One Liners
How do you recognise a Corkman staying in a big hotel?
He's the one trying to slam the revolving door.
Once upon a time there were two Corkmen - now look how many there are.
A Cork barber displayed the following notice
HAIRCUTS WHILE YOU WAIT.
Two Cork bank clerks bought self-winding watches. One afternoon one bank clerk
said to the other, 'these selfwinding watches aren't much good Fergal. Mine's
stopped'.
A Corkman went to his dentist and told him to take all his teeth out. When
the dentist had extracted the last tooth the Corkman burst out laughing and said,
'April fool, I only wanted a haircut'.
Have you heard about the Corkman who thought that Chou-en-Lai was Chinese
for bed and breakfast?
Have you heard about the Corkwoman who was ironing her husband's socks?
She burned his feet.
A Cork newspaper once carried the following notice on its front page
'Today we present our prize crossword, first prize £1,000. But for those
of you who want to do it just for fun and don't want to wait until next week for
the answers, the solution is on the back page'.
A pilot in a single seat jet fighter once ran into difficulties when flying
over West Cork. Seeing that the aircraft was on tire, he used the ejector seat
to bale out. Two West Cork tarmers were looking up at the scene. One turned to
the other and said, 'Mick what will they think of next? I'm sure that was a flying
toasting machine'
Have you heard about the Corkman who thought that a barbecue was a line of
people outside a gents hairdressers?
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