Closest Race

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were discussing sporting events.
The closest race I ever saw,' said The Englishman, 'was a car race, in which one of The cars had been recently painted and won by The breadth of The coat of paint.'
The closest race I ever saw,' said The Scotsman, 'was a horse race, in which a horse, stung by a bee, won by The length of The bee sting swelling on his nose.'
The closest race I ever saw,' said The Irishman, 'is The Scotch.'